Finally an Effective North Korea Sanction: Manchester United banned by UEFA from all competitions


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How many failed attempts have there already been in trying to bring the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un to his senses?! Literally a 1000 times, all different kinds of bans and sanctions have been imposed on the East Asian country. What was the outcome? North Korea has built and launched even more missiles and the ‘Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army’ laughs up his sleeve about the inabilities of the United Nations. However, finally someone seems to have touched a raw nerve: The football club Manchester United has been banned from all competitions hoping that this ultimate sanction will make Kim Jong-un sweat!


It is fairly well known that the North Korean leader is a fanatic supporter of the Red Devils. All matches involving ManU are therefore shown live on Korean Central Television. On a day of play Kim Jong-un takes time off and the almost daily missile launches are an absolute no-go on these days.

The UEFA seems to take advantage of Kim being crazy about Manchester United and apparently wants to become a peacemaker by banning the Red Devils from all football competitions. The idea was born by ManU-coach José Mourinho, well known for his die-hard defensive tactics: “Of course we feel sorry for the players and our fans. Most of them think that Kim should rather be a Man City fan anyway! However, football is a unifying sport. Since neither Donald Trump nor the United Nations have achieved a certain progress in steadying the North Korean dictator, it’s only fair and logical that we contribute to the solution of this global crisis by doing without football for a while!”

It remains to be seen if this drastic approach by the UEFA will actually solve the Korean conflict. From what we hear, there have already been initial signs from Pyongyang giving hope that North Korea could return to the negotiation table. Two things seem to be fixed. First, persons close to Kim Jong-un can heave a sigh of relief for the time being – in the past when ManU lost a game, fairly often random executions took place the other day. Secondly, if the nuclear crisis can really be solved by this simple action, José Mourinho seems to be a quite promising candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize!